Bounty
by Kankokujinpoi
Summary: Stan lives a normal life. Clyde and Craig pay an unexpected visit to Stan. They're looking for Kyle, they need collateral. Stan is their collateral. It's about as AU as I will ever get. This could happen in the realm of South Park I suppose.


Today is Stan's big day.

This morning when he walked into _Coach's Paradise, _the sporting goods store he's worked at since his freshman year in college, the general manager asked if he would like to have lunch today. Mr. Green said he has some things he would like to 'chat' with Stan about. In Mr. Green language, that means Stan is getting promoted.

Stan cannot wait to sit down at Denny's and gladly accept Mr. Green's offer into management. This is the same routine he saw happen to Carrie, the girl who has no right to be in management. Furthermore, Carrie definitely had no right to be promoted before Stan. The only thing Mr. Green sees is the profit he makes from her low-cut, V-neck shirt that frames her bust just low enough to make coaches and football dads alike think he has really found paradise. Stan has been at _Coach's Paradise_ for three full years, plus. He originally thought he would work for his first year of college, make new friends in a new town, keep himself busy. After a year of retail, Stan's plan was to find an internship or co-op at a nice business. Not having claim to an actual major prevents any 'business' from wasting their time with you.

Stan knows the step to management is the break he's been looking for. He might finish school with a bullshit degree, but he'll have a nice position at a nice bullshit job. Mr. Green can't be struggling too much, he drives a BMW.

Stan remembers being told bad things happen in three. Last year was Stan's 'Bad Year,' or, as he likes to call it, the Year of the Pig. He once read a Chinese astrology book that told him he is a dog. Worst enemy: the pig. Or maybe Stan is the pig and his enemy is the dog? It's been a long year for Stan.

Bad occurrence #1: Stan and Wendy Break Up, the Finale. Stan knows this is really it. There is no back-together, no on-again off-again. Wendy had been honest. No proposal for a break or any lame excuse that she needed to be alone 'with herself' for a few days. Wendy came clean, like the good old band-aid analogy Stan hears all the time from Mr. Green. She met someone else. No real remorse in her voice, just told him, 'he's going somewhere, Stan. The only place I see you going is back to South Park.'

That stung a little, but the whiskey numbed the wound. Stan promised himself he would never return to South Park for permanent residence. Only losers stay in South Park, right?

Bad Occurrence #2: Sharon Marsh's Diagnosis. Something Stan refuses to relive. Two words to sum up a horrible situation: Breast Cancer.

Bad Occurrence #3: Kyle Broflosky's Confession/blow up/ departure. Once Stan turned 21, Kyle thought it necessary to explain why he had never been to any of the bars Stan's other friends had had in mind to take him to celebrate. Kyle, having at least 3 months on Stan had his fair share of the bar scene, just not Stan's idea of the bar scene.

'We've been through this, Stan. I'm gay.'

'Okay'

'No, not just an okay. I'm serious, you can't just act like this conversation hasn't or isn't happening. I just need you to tell me you're okay.'

'Okay'

And that had been the last correspondence between the two. Stan can remember some other words from Kyle, mostly about his feelings and how he doesn't want to lose Stan, or something about not having the same interests anymore, then he left Stan's apartment. Stan isn't sure why he can't remember the whole conversation. It just hurts his head to think about it. Hurts his heart, too. Can we just say his whole body aches when he thinks about this?

Stan knows Kyle will get over it and text Stan like everything is back to normal. He'll ask if he wants to grab a burger and maybe a beer, since they haven't officially celebrated Stan's birthday.

Although, this is the longest time the two have gone without talking. To be honest, Stan isn't sure he counts Bad Occurrence #3 as an actual bad occurrence, but the aftermath is what get's him. Stan doesn't care that Kyle is gay. He's not sure why Kyle makes a big deal out of it. Stan just… doesn't know what to say.

Even over a year without talking, Stan doesn't know what to say.

Stan checks his watch, 11:12 am. So close to Mr. Green's lunch hour. He figures texting the good news to Kyle might break him of whatever attitude he has had for the past few months. Okay, past 16 months, but who's really counting?

Stan hears the motion censor sense someone enter through the front door. He knows he has to make one last impression, one last good sale, to impress Mr. Green and cement his decision and rid him of any doubts he has in Stan.

Stan hates being doubted.

Stan plasters his friendly smile he practiced with Kyle in his form freshman year and makes his way to the front of the store. Stan knows his competition is pretty weak to greet the customer at the door. Everyone hates opening introductions to the store.

Stan prepares to speak; secretly hoping the customer is a woman. The gender makes the sale 10 times easier of harder. He sees the newcomers turn the corner to the soccer section of the store.

Stan slows down his pace in hopes they aren't trying to avoid him. He knows he is a pest, but they can't blame a guy for doing his job, can they?

Once Stan turns the corner he expects the customers to be aisles ahead of him, already sensing his presence and trying to lose him. He prepares to add some volume to his voice.

"Hey! Stan Marsh!" Stan comes face to face with a familiar, yet unfamiliar, face. Hone wheat hair, athletic build, Stan is trying to search for a name to match his face. His shoulders are broad, Stan guesses football was or still is his sport. This makes Stan wonder why they're in the soccer section.

"Hey, how are you doing today?" Stan responds, trying not to show his confusion.

The guy turns his full attention to Stan. He places his hand over his heart. "Aww, you don't remember me?" Stan expects to hear a mock voice of hurt, but is surprised at how upset the guy actually sounds. It's been so long, could it really be, "Clyde Donnovan?" Stan says with actual surprise.

"It must have been the distinct whine in his voice that gave it away, huh Marsh?" Stan tries his hardest not to show his body stiffen at the nasally tone.

"I see you remember Craig," Clyde chuckles lightly.

Stan studies the taller of the two boys. Hair as dark as his own but shorter than his. Stan can see Craig is the reason the boys are in the soccer section. He can easily see that soccer is Craig's sport.

Strong, even build, his legs maybe a little stronger than his arms, but who's really looking that closely, right? It's too hard to tell anyways since Craig is dressed in a suit.

Now that it's been brought to his attention, Stan notices both boys are wearing suits.

Clyde's suit if a light brown, more tan than brown and yes, there is a difference. His red tie looks slightly more wrinkled than someone wearing a suit should allow.

Craig's suit has more of a slate gray tint paired with a blue tie. His tie, along with his suit, is pressed nicely gives Stan a feeling of male dominance. 'Some things never change,' Stan thinks as he shakes his head.

"Why are you shaking your head." Craig states as he sits on a pile of different colored soccer jersey's on display.

"Please don't sit on that, dude. Why are you guys here?" Stan motions for Craig to sit up from the merchandise and notices a flash of hurt cross Clyde's face.

"Not that I don't mind seeing you again, Clyde," emphasis on Clyde, Stan thinks, "but you two don't necessarily look like you're ready for a sport outing!" Stan stifles a friendly, please-tell-me-why-you're-here-and-leave, laugh and gestures to the two of them. While Craig stays seated on the forbidden jersey's, Clyde picks up a soccer ball and begins juggling.

"First of all," Clyde says between juggles, "Thank you. We dress to impress."

Craig clears his throat and Stan thinks he mutters, "tie."

Clyde lets the ball fall as he tries to straighten his wrinkly tie. "But really," Clyde picks the ball up and throws it back into the bin he grabbed it from. "We're here to see you."

Stan glances at Craig who seems to have made himself at home on a bed of jerseys. He doesn't even offer a glance at Stan, even though Stan knows he is trying his best to burn holes on the top of his head. He imagines his glare searing Craig's nice suit like a match to paper.

"This suit is flame resisitant, Marsh." Stan thinks Craig says, although his face is buried in a '_So You Want to be a Soccer Coach?_ Book.

"How have you been, Stan?" Stan can hear a pang of guilt in Clyde voice that stiffens Stan's posture even more than Craig's voice.

"Who told you to come here?" Stan ignores Clyde's question with a question of his own.

"Um, well…" Clyde looks like he isn't sure what to say.

Stan interrupts Clyde's brain fart. He isn't ready to hear some apology for why the two old teammates haven't kept in touch, or any news about anyone back in South Park. Stan isn't sure Clyde is even staying in South Park anymore. When Stan left he vowed to never look back. Except for his mom. Stan thinks he has the real reason, so he figures he'll cut the awkward chit-chat and get to the point.

"Kyle sent you here, didn't he?" Stan's voice sounds a little happier than he wants to let on. "That little shit, what is this? Some sort of surprise celebration? Listen guys, I'm not sure what all Kyle has told you, but I haven't officially been offered the job yet, I'm not sure how Kyle even knew about this!" Stan starts gaining confidence. "I have a feeling the big question will be popped at lunch. Which is any minute now, so maybe tonight we can all go out? Tell Kyle I'll call him after work and let him know how it goes." Stan's confidence has hit level 10. He literally pats Craig's leg, letting him know it's time to get up from his jersey home he's made for himself. Stan reassures himself that this is his territory.

"Now, thanks for coming, this is really a surprise, but— what?" Stan finally catches up to the other boys' lack of conversation. They are both staring at each other like they both have news, bad news that neither boy wants to share.

Once both boys notice Stan has caught up to their conflict, Clyde suddenly takes great interest in his shoes.

Stan turns to Craig, who is staring at Stan with barely an expression on his face.

"Stan," Craig says, blank stare burning into Stan's confused one.

"We're um, we're actually looking for Kyle." Clyde interrupts; he glances at Craig as if he is afraid of Craig reaction. Maybe he's afraid of Stan's reaction.

"Well is that all? You guys made it sound like there is something bad going on!" Stan laughs a nervous laugh as he notices neither boy has lifted the tension, "Mr. Green says the best way to say something is to just come out and say it. Just like ripping off—"

"Where is he?" Craig interrupts Stan's speech.

"What? Who?" Stan feels the tension switch from awkward to hasty.

"Where is Kyle." Craig states.

"I…" Stan suddenly feels shaken, "I haven't seen him. Talked to him."

"In how long." Craig pushes.

"Months. A little over a year." Stan decides it's better to be honest.

"Do you have his number?" Clyde asks, his tone softer than his counterpart's.

"Well yeah, but I don't get this, what is this about?" Stan feels cornered in his own store.

"_Stan Marsh to management's office, Stan Marsh to management's office."_

All three boys look to the speaker hanging overhead.

"I gotta go guys, like I said, I'll be off at five, then you can tell me—" Stan turns to make his way towards Mr. Green's office. Hoping that his excuse of helping a customer will be sufficient for his tardiness. Stan's excuse is already forming until Clyde catches his arm.

"You can't." Clyde's head is still down.

"Whoa dude, hands off." Stan tries to shrug him off.

"I can't, Stan, I'm sorry," Clyde says with his guilty sympathetic voice. Stan feels Clyde's grip tighten.

"Dude, I'm not kidding, hands off—" Stan gives Clyde arm a strong shove, loosening his grip. Stan thinks about running, but is surprised by Craig.

Craig's hand grabs Stan's arm and uses his own momentum to swing his arm around. Craig's force his so forceful, a quick shake and Stan's other arm swings to meet the one Craig holds. Stan feels his wrists being zip-tied behind his back.

"We're bounty hunters, Marsh." Stan hears Craig as he feels his knees being kicked out from under him, something thrown over his head.

"You're the bounty."

**So. I just thought I would get this prologue out, to preface the story I hope to develop. Might be a minute until I update, I really do want to finish all of the other stories I've started. I just keep thinking of Clyde and Craig in suits. BA. Thanks for reading.**


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